Last night, I was writing a pretty killer tune, and I was in my room trying to find my music staff papers to write it out on, but I couldn’t find any. Yet I was trying very hard to remember that tune in my head, and I pretty much had it memorized in my head and I was so excited to get it written down because it sounded so good.
Then I woke up and I completely forgot what it sounded like.
Damn it.
When someone says “I don’t want to debate with you,” yet proceeds to state their viewpoint with intent to dispute yours, then what the fuck is the point of you opening your mouth in the first place? Either don’t say that opening statement and argue with me, or don’t say anything at all. Especially if you call me out in front of other people, what the fuck was your intentions in speaking in the first place?
I thought I was able to open up to people once more, giving you a second chance (or third or fourth; I’ve lost count). Yet again, you’ve proven me wrong as to if I can trust you with my emotions.
My mind is racing just before I go to bed. All these thoughts of how my day went and what I will do the next day runs through my head, and I can’t stop them. Worst yet, freaking killer melodies are thought up right there, and I’m forced to get out of bed and record it or write it down before I forget. And I HATE having to get out of bed.
Inspiration strikes me at the worst times…
But it’s all good when I take a look again at these melodies and think of how freaking awesome they are.
Back to bed…
Last night, I slept at 8. In the morning.
I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I just couldn’t enter sleep.
This was the worst case of insomnia I’ve ever had. I laid in bed and rolled around for one to two hours at a time, then got frustrated and watched TV or read a book, then attempted to go back to sleep, but still yielded the same results of not entering sleep. Then I gave my friend a promised wake up call at 6 since she had school, then went back to bed. I rolled around even more and thought that this was very ridiculous, considering I didn’t have any caffeine or a nap. The last time I looked at the clock, it was around 8, so that’s when i figured my official sleep time was at.
I woke up at around 2; not exactly eight hours of sleep but natural sunlight and not wanting to waste my day made me get up and start my day. Now in the afternoon I’m really tired, just like every other day. My energy levels have constantly been low in the afternoons and high at nighttimes and I don’t know why; and I’ve been off naps and caffeine for a long time.
I would think that not napping and not taking caffeine would lead to good sleep at nighttime which leads to a full eight hours which leads to energy for the whole day… but none of that is happening. I’m still tired in the afternoon, and I try to stay awake and my productivity falters as a result, and then when nighttime comes, I try to go to sleep for a long good rest but I can’t fall asleep because my mind is jogging.
Now I’m wondering if I should just go to sleep when I want to, not when I need to. Meaning when I’m tired, I’m going to sleep. Then when bedtime comes and the rest of the world goes to sleep, I’m going to stay awake because I don’t need to sleep.
Then this thought process goes on to other things, like eating because I want to, not because I need to… then other things like doing things when I want to, not because I need to… then other rebellious things and etc etc.
Ah!
People are so self involved these days that they rarely take the initiative. I send messages to a lot of people just to say hi and to let them know that someone is thinking of them and is genuinely interested in knowing how they're doing, and most reply. The thing that really hurts me (yes - I said it) is that if they had the time and energy to respond to a message, they could have taken the initiative to sent one first. What really sucks is that they don't. Then there's those who claim to be friends but won't even reply to any outreach of friendship. In my opinion, that person is not a friend and I have no use for them anymore. They're gone. Cut out. Fuck 'em.
People don’t have enough strength of character to even show basic consideration. I had plans made with someone that I haven’t seen in a long time, but it fell through for a bullshit reason. At the last minute that person remembers that they made other plans. Glad to know that their plans were more important than ours… fuck that. You’re dead to me now.
I also had someone cancel out on plans last minute because they fell asleep. They woke up just when we were to get together and at that point they were too tired. Good to know that they were looking forward to getting together so much that they just happened to fall asleep.
How about if you're out with a friend(s) and they are constantly texting. Fuck, if you got someone else more important to talk to then go hang out with them, why the fuck are you here with me.
I’m beyond burnt out with some people, that I feel like I don’t need to bother with them at all anymore.
I’m going to take this opportunity to vent my frustrations and take it out onto this page.
I’ve noticed a whole lot of unnecessary bitching on the internet that frustrates me and disgusts me. A lot of it stems from what I read on the new FML meme that I read for amusement. I’m probably guilty of being a part of this problem since I indulge on this stuff, gaining pleasure from reading about other people’s misfortunes. But there are some FMLs that are quite elementary in the sense that there are quite a few that aren’t worth complaining about, considering there are so many other problems in the world.
Anyways I may be going off topic. But one event on facebook set me off thinking about this.
Someone updated their status saying “life sucks.”
And so on people comment “why” and the person responds, “if I listed the reasons I’d write a book.”"
Really now.
Go ahead and list these reasons. If you can write a book, then 90% of the world can write an anthology.
I’m sick and tired of hearing about people in western society who live with more than basic living standards complain about life. I don’t need to say anymore.
The Jays got handled during tonight’s game against the Angels. Although it was only 6-1, it contained many aspects of my dream last night: overthrows and runs scored as a result of, and… well, that’s pretty much what my dream contained. And tonight’s game contained I think two overthrows from Barajas to Scutaro when attempting to throw out a stealer.. and as a result the baserunner reached third and I think would eventually reach home.
Quite eerie as I reached this realization.
So after yesterday’s 13-1 destruction of the Angels by the Jays, my subconscious mind decided to play with me and dream about LA coming back in the bottom of the ninth, scoring endlessly.
Brian Tallet was closing and it was 13-12 with no outs. I don’t know the details about how the hell the Jays sucked so badly, but I remember I was furious. I was updating my facebook status endlessly, swearing and commentating at every botched play.
What I do remember is they kept making wild pitches and wild throws and walking the batters and as a result of the combination of all three, they kept giving up the game.
Eventually, they got two outs, and it was 13-12, and the bases were loaded. Tallet decided to for some reason check the runner on third and make a throw there, but he overthrew it and the runner ran for home. But Rolen with his powerfulness ran quickly and retrieved the ball and threw home accurately for a very obvious out. But the ump called it safe and I remember hearing “and that’s the ball game!!” and I got really mad and trashed my room and Tallet argued with the ump and got thrown out and then I woke up and I actually was very relieved and was like, “oh man… it was just a dream… thank goodness.”
when did hugeass thick rimmed nerd frames become cool?
everyone walks around with hugeass thick rimmed nerd frames. like they’re friggin huge. first off, you don’t look cool, and second, they must be very uncomfortable to wear.
there’s a degree of nerdy cuteness to emo/fob chicks that wear thick rimmed glasses, but these are so friggin huge, they are the look of actual nerds from the 80s.
the bandwagon is so stupid.
seriously.
